Productivity Isn’t Just Planning — It’s Emotional Regulation

Hey Bestie!

We talk a lot about systems, tools, and strategy when it comes to productivity. But if you’ve ever stared at your perfectly organized to-do list and still couldn’t move, you already know — productivity isn’t just about planning. It’s about emotional regulation.

If your nervous system is in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, no app, planner, or Pomodoro timer is going to save you. That’s where DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) comes in — especially its emotion regulation tools.

You’re Not Lazy — You’re Dysregulated

One of the biggest myths in the productivity world is that if you’re not getting things done, you’re lazy or undisciplined. But for many of us, what looks like “procrastination” is actually an emotional response:

  • Fear of failure

  • Perfectionism

  • Shame

  • Overwhelm

  • Exhaustion

DBT doesn’t try to shame you out of those feelings. It gives you tools to work with them so you can move forward.

The Skill: Name, Validate, Regulate

Here’s a 3-part breakdown inspired by DBT’s emotion regulation framework:

1. Name the Emotion
Get specific. Are you anxious, embarrassed, discouraged, ashamed, overstimulated? Vague discomfort can’t be solved — but clearly identified feelings can be worked through.

2. Validate the Emotion
Instead of fighting the feeling, validate it. “It makes sense I feel this way given how overwhelmed I am.” Validation softens resistance — and clears space to act.

3. Regulate the Emotion
Now that you’ve named and validated the feeling, choose a skill to help you shift it:

  • Opposite Action: Do the opposite of what the emotion urges (e.g., if you want to avoid, start with a 2-minute task).

  • PLEASE Skills: Take care of your physical needs — sleep, nutrition, exercise, and meds.

  • Mindfulness: Ground yourself in the present moment instead of spiraling through what-ifs.

Why This Works

Planning assumes your future self will be calm, focused, and ready to act. DBT skills help you meet your actual self — the one who’s overwhelmed, scattered, or struggling — and offer her tools that bring her back into balance.

When you treat emotional regulation as the foundation of your productivity system, everything changes. Your to-do list becomes a support tool, not a source of shame.

Try This Today:

Before jumping into work, ask yourself:

“What am I feeling right now — and what do I need to support myself through it?”

That one question can unlock more clarity than any planner ever could.

Need help building a system that supports your nervous system, not just your schedule?
DM me or fill out the form below — let’s build a workflow that honors all of you.

Stay Focused,

LuLu 🩷

 
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How to Finish More Projects (Without Hating the Process)